1 Dec 2009

The Karate Kid remake... needs a bit of this

In case you've not heard, 80s kids favourite The Karate Kid is the latest classic to be put through the 'let's rape our childhoods' Hollywood remake meatgrinder.

Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita have been replaced by Jaden Smith (son of Will Smith, thus making him the Viscount of Bel Air, according to Debretts) and Hollywood's official Older Oriental for Hire, Jackie Chan (John Cho, this is what you have to look forward to in 30 years time...).

Judging by the stills released today, at least part of the film is set on the Great Wall of China (or at the very least, a studio backdrop that LOOKS like the Great Wall of China).

Which is all well and good.  But time and tastes have moved on a bit since the days when everyone was doing karate classes after school before rushing home for Willie Fog and some Um Bungo.

Karate's passe now, and what da kidz is really interested in is MMA, innit.

Now, the Thumbcast's not adverse to a bit of cage fighting action, so my hopefully we'll see young Jaden battling through to the finals of his karate competition, clutching his bruised ribs and ankles in pain as he goes up on one leg to hit the famous Crane Kick from the first film.

Except this time, instead of the cocky karate expert and local school bully, prime to be taken down a peg or two, his opponent is this:

or this

or even this:

And what we end up seeing happen to young Jaden is this:

Well, I can dream, can't I?