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"There's no such thing as a free computer..."

When every kid at Westboro High is given a free iPad by the school’s mysterious sponsor, only lonely newcomer Marcie Hatter is suspicious of his motives. But as she and her only friends Rita and Thomas begin to investigate, they find it’s not only their own lives in danger – it’s the whole of the world…

Sounds like a good US teen film pitch, yeah? A high tech answer to The Faculty, perhaps. Or a slick, glossy TV series, a sort of sci-fi Vampire Diaries?

It is, of course, the plot of Russell T Davies’ seminal 90s CBBC drama Dark Season, albeit slightly updated to make it more American and 2011. Despite being 20 years old now, the original – noted for letting Rusty indulge his inner Who geek (and his Deus Ex Machina plotting) and for giving the world Kate Winslet – still holds up relatively well, fondly remembered among those who watched it at the time.

So, if Hollywood can plunder Rentaghost as a potential movie franchise, then why not Dark Season?

Let’s stop, for a minute, and think about this. Rentaghost. Fucking Rentaghost. God help us, but of all the things to pick up from Hollywood for a shiny 21st century big screen reimagining, why Rentaghost? It’s not even fondly remembered by its seventeen fans, let alone the rest of the world.

Anyway, there’s far better stuff from British children’s telly that could be snaffled up. Press Gang. Century Falls. Children’s Ward. And, of course, Dark Season.

Of all those great kids dramas of the 80s and 90s, it seems the most obvious to be updated and Hollywood-ized. Most of the elements are fairly timeless – a high school setting, outsider kids, a sympathetic teacher, technology being abused, secrets in the cellar…

The six episodes have a lot of padding that could be stripped out, cutting down that three hour running time into something shorter and punchier. Move it to the US, and make the BHM machine something from NORAD rather than the British war effort. A high school in Colorado then, perhaps close to an army base – with the archaeological excavation being for native American artifacts rather than ancient British ones.

Dark Season seems prime for a Hollywood revamp.  So, with that in mind, who would you cast in such a drama?

A few years ago, the lead role of Marcie would have been a given for Clea DuVall. She seemed to have monopolised that gawky, mysterious high school loner/outsider role and would have been a perfect fit to fill Victoria Lambert’s cardie and backpack. Except these days she’s the same age as me – and even Hollywood might find a 34-year-old playing a teenager a stretch.

It needs to be a relatively bankable name, to draw in the teen audience as much as anything else, so lets go with Jessica Stroup from 90210. She’s got the teen horror flick credentials and some geek cred thanks to her True Blood and Seth MacFarlane appearances.

Reet and Thomas, Marcie’s only friends? Well, you’d imagine Hollywood would ethnicise the cast up a bit, given the original BBC version was distinctly white and middle class. It won’t make any difference to the plot, obviously, and it’ll get the frothing fanboys wheeling out the old ‘political correctness gone mad’ rant.

Plus, Hollywood likes casting Brits and giving them US accents. So how about Misfits’ Antonia Thomas as Reet? We here at the Thumbcast have always liked her, and Thomas’ performance tends to get overlooked in favour of Lauren Socha.

As for Thomas? Well, could Vampire Diaries’ Steven R McQueen be persuaded to die his hair blonde and ride a skateboard? Why not – he’s used to playing younger than he is, has a big fanbase,..

So that’s our group of heroes. What about the villain of the piece? Mr Eldritch needs to be someone sinister and, with the relative lack of big names elsewhere in the cast, would probably end up being the star name of the piece.

Plus, he needs to be sinister and imposing without being a muscle-bound monster. And blonde, obviously. Needs to be blonde. So perhaps Alexander Skarsgard? True Blood showed he can do sinister, Gen Kill showed he can do icily cool.

And for the sympathetic teacher, Miss Maitland? Well, surely there’s only one person suitable for that role… Step forward Kate Winslet, returning to her roots after making her TV bow in the original BBC version. She’s about the right age to play the role now, obviously, and it’s a nice nod to the original.

So there you go. We’ve given you the plot, the location, the cast… get to it, Catherine Hardwicke!  A sexy teen movie version, with a US setting, shiny iPads, some Hollywood gloss and a chart-friendly soundtrack… sounds like a winner to us.

In fact, perhaps Rusty could be persuaded to write the script for the big screen movie version himself. After all, he’s over in the States now, and he’s just had a major hit with Torchw…oh.

Ah well. Galloping Galaxies: The Motion Picture it is then…