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No Masks, No Powers, No Heroics – A One Season Wonder
No Heroics was a sitcom that initially ran on ITV2 in 2008 that focussed on superheroes during their off hours. The show followed the lives of four capes; The Hotness (an incompetent wannabe hero with heat powers), Electroclash (foul-mouthed controller of electrical machinery), Timebomb (a recently retired cape with the ability to see 60 seconds into the future), and She Force (the naïve, third strongest woman in the world). The characters spend most of their time in The Fortress, a bar where ‘capes’ can drink and relax, so long as they don’t use their powers or wear their costumes.
The series ran for six episodes which were originally broadcast on ITV2 (and then eventually on ITV1 in the graveyard slot). The show’s comedy is mainly based around pub based banter with the occasional foray into capes’ everyday activities. There is an impressive amount of world building for a twenty minute comedy show; the sets are covered in subtle geek references (especially within the Fortress), there are several cape magazines that are much like real world celeb magazines like Heat, and there are mentions of capes taking part in the Falklands and Gulf War.
The depiction of superheroes in No Heroics is that of cynical celebrities, desperate to raise their public profile via great heroic acts so that they can appear on celebrity worshipping shows like Power Hour. This struggle for celebrity is mainly represented by the contrast between Excelsor (Patrick Baladi from The Office) and The Hotness (Nathan Barley himself, Nicholas Burns). Excelsor is Britain ’s most powerful cape, and hero to millions, but he is also an unpleasant bully when he’s in The Fortress. He constantly torments The Hotness for his inferior powers and frequently desperate attempts to become famous. The Hotness is on the bottom rung of the cape ladder, despite being trained at an academy for heroes and having a useful power. The Hotness’s problem is that he’s a fame hungry, self-absorbed idiot which always causes him to make poor decisions and usually ends in public humiliation.
Timebomb (James Lance) represents the other side of celebrity, the burned out, indie-cred cape with his own cult following. He’s a gay, Spanish, alcoholic, drug user who has sex with strangers when he’s bored. Timebomb isn’t a publicly famous hero but is well-known in The Fortress and amongst villain circles as a very dangerous cape due to his talent for torture. Timebomb is really a parody of the late 80s, early 90s ‘dark’ superhero movement. The funny thing about Timebomb is that he’s comfortable in his own skin and, despite his terrible deeds, is a good friend to the others. I always enjoyed Timebomb’s subplots the most, the episode where he has to protect a rich, bigoted, foul-mouthed, Saudi prince from assassination is my favourite.
Electroclash (Nathan Barley alumni, Claire Keelan) is another side of celebrity – the famous offspring. She’s the daughter of the “Richard and Judy of the capeworld” and resents them for setting a standard that she feels she can’t live up to. Electroclash stumbles through life acting like a delinquent rule breaker and using her power to control electrical machinery for her own petty gain (like getting free cigarettes from the pub machine or cash from an ATM). It’s clear that she’s a cape only because that’s what her parents did. Electroclash provides most of the foul-mouthed diatribes and jokes in the show. She claims not to care about her celebrity profile but still gets upset when she gets a bad review in cape magazines.
She Force (Rebekah Staton) isn’t famous (although she’s the third strongest person in the world) and she tries to keep her cape life and normal life separate. She’s unique in being the only hero in No Heroics who attempts to maintain a secret identity (she uses the patented Clark Kent method of wearing glasses when out of costume and removing them when she becomes She Force) which everyone else declares to be pointless. In fact, the irony is that The Hotness desperately wants to be famous but wears a mask as part of his costume. She Force is insecure, desperate for a relationship (going so far as to entertain the idea of dating a cape hater) and is sickeningly positive and optimistic at all times. She Force used to team up with Electroclash to form the duo known as Lady Trouble, but it didn’t last long due to the terrible name.
No Heroics is available on DVD but it seems to be out of production now. However, there are copies available on Amazon through their marketplace system. The DVD contains a nice behind the scenes tour of the show that points out all the comic book references that had been peppered throughout the set.
The show is very British, it’s cynical, grounded in realism, and sharp. This show is well worth checking out if you’re a fan of the genre and worth a peek even if you’re not. I’m surprised that ITV commissioned this show as it’s a concept that doesn’t usually translate well on British TV (“My Hero” for example) but I’m glad they did.
You Are Entering My Darkplace – A One Season Wonder
Maryhill Health Centre was tooling up for a particularly tough afternoon
Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace ran on late-night Channel Four during 2004. Darkplace was the perfect parody of 1980s TV horror, based on a fictional, never released, Channel 4 TV show. The show was said to be created by Matthew Holness‘s fictional character, horror writer Garth Marenghi. Garth writes, directs, and stars in every episode of Darkplace. His talent knows no bounds.
Although of course, Garth is bloody awful. Every episode begins with an introduction by Garth and an excerpt from one of his horror masterpieces. It’s clear that Garth does not have quite the talent that he thinks he has.
Each episode is interspersed with modern-day interviews with the cast to provide commentary and inside information on each scene. It’s a great conceit as the audience learns more about the shady behind the scenes dealings between Garth, his publisher Dean Learner, and the actor Todd Rivers. Actress Madeleine Wool is sadly not available for the present day interviews as she disappeared under mysterious circumstances, although one might think that some members of the cast may be involved…
The actual episodes of Darkplace itself are set in Darkplace Hospital, a medical facility based in Romford and built over a Hellmouth. In every episode a supernatural threat attacks the patients and doctors in the hospital and Garth Marenghi’s character, Dr Rick Dagless MD (a Vietnam and Falklands veteran with a healthy interest in the occult) must save the day. Rick is portrayed as superheroic because he’s written for, and played by, Garth Marenghi. One week, the hospital may suffer from a spate of exploding patients, the next it may face an invasion of apes. All threats are conveyed via the cheapest special effects the 1980s had to offer.
The cheap effects were of course created in 2003 when the show was actually filmed. It’s an amazing job by the crew as every set wobbles, the model work is obvious and cheap, lip synching sometimes fails completely (usually when Todd Rivers’ character, Dr Lucien Sanchez, has to speak), and the blue screen work is truly awful. It’s a masterpiece in terrible film making and it was probably very time consuming to create the right levels of creakiness.
The actors’ performances vary wildly in awfulness, but the true master is Dean Learner playing Thornton Reed (it’s actually Richard Ayoade, just before he hit it big with The IT Crowd) a man incapable of altering the tone of his voice or delivering a line with any conviction. It’s a masterclass in terrible acting.
There are only six episodes but fortunately they are available for free on YouTube. The DVD is available too and it’s a thing of beauty, it actually adds another layer of meta to the show by providing in character commentary for each episode. Each show can be watched with Garth, Dean, and Todd providing commentary on their own performances and interviews, and it is fantastic. It’s available on Amazon for a very reasonable price and it is worth every penny.
Darkplace did produce a spin-off show called Man to Man with Dean Learner. It was a spoof chat show very much in the vein of Alan Partridge, with Richard Ayoade interviewing Matthew Holness in a variety of different guises. Of course one of the episodes featured Dean’s old friend, Garth Marenghi. While Man to Man was good, it never hit the heights of Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, a true comedy gem.
Does Whatever A Spider Can – A One Season Wonder
Back in 2003, MTV brought in comic book writer Brian Michael Bendis to adapt his Ultimate Spider-Man comic series to the small screen. What eventually resulted was not an Ultimate universe adaptation, but a continuation of the events and characters from Sam Raimi’s first Spider-Man film. Spider-Man: The New Animated Series lasted for only one season of thirteen episodes but contained the perfect mix of Marvel brand humour, action, and teen angst.
For the animated show Tobey Maguire was replaced as Peter Parker by current nerd favourite, Neil Patrick Harris. This version of Peter Parker is a more confident and wisecracking Spider-Man who provides quips and insults galore during the fight scenes. He’s much closer to the Spider-Man in the comics than in the Raimi films, which is a relief for those who may not have fully enjoyed the quiet, low-key version of Spider-Man in the movies.
Peter attends Empire State University and shares an apartment with Harry Osborn (who still believes that Spider-Man murdered his father at the end of the original movie) and all of his adventures are based around the university campus. Mary Jane Watson and Peter Parker are still awkwardly shuffling around each other in regards to their feelings which leaves room for the typical ‘hard luck’ and ‘romantic rivalry’ Spider-Man stories. A strange omission from the show is Aunt May who, apart from one appearance in a photograph, is left out of the show entirely. According to Wikipedia, this was because MTV were concerned that old people would scare off their youth audience. If you believe Wikipedia’s claims that MTV thought their viewers had a morbid phobia of the elderly.
The CGI animation is rather jarring at first, character models are stiff and slightly angular (and everyone has huge eyebrows) but the fight scenes and web swinging sequences look fluid and dynamic. Spider-Man jumps, dives, rolls and swings across the screen and it’s great to see an animated series get Spider-Man’s movements right.
The storylines are short and sweet as each episode is approximately 20 minutes long which does unfortunately lead to a fair amount of convenience in the plotting. Everything seems to happen on the university campus and Peter Parker is forever bumping into crimes as they occur, for example. That said, there isn’t a bad episode and there is a degree of ongoing continuity between episodes that is occasionally referenced. New characters and villains are created for the show (a side effect of being in the movie universe, perhaps) and they vary in quality, some are obvious analogues for existing Marvel villains whilst others are a little unimaginative (jet pack themed villains and the numerous rent-a-thugs for example). Comic book villains such as The Lizard, Kraven The Hunter, Silver Sable, and a new version of Electro are present though.
The list of guest stars is the usual collection of genre actor suspects; Jeffrey Combs, Michael Clarke Duncan (reprising his Kingpin role from the much maligned Ben Affleck Daredevil movie), John C McGinley, James Marsters, Michael Dorn, and even heavy metal artist turned horror movie director Rob Zombie appears. The celebrity voices do add a certain level of genre quality to the episodes and every performance is pretty much nailed on.
The thirteen episodes comprise an entertaining season and it’s a pity that a second season wasn’t commissioned to resolve the end of season cliffhanger. Although the show ends on a cliffhanger it’s one that’s been used in Spider-Man stories many times and shouldn’t really concern anyone familiar with the Spider-Man mythos. As a narrative bridge between Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 it doesn’t really quite work due to the introduction of The Lizard (who was teased but never used in the films) and the nature of the season finale. Continuity issues aside, this is a unique and entertaining take on Spider-Man that Webheads will enjoy. It’s only cardinal sin is not having a decent theme tune, for some reason MTV went for a farily generic techno dance track that lacks any kind of personality. A missed opportunity to update the classic theme tune. The New Animated Series can be bought on DVD here or you can watch the episodes online via YouTube.
There’s Something About Eerie – A One Season Wonder
Early 90s kids’ show Eerie Indiana was first broadcast in the UK on Channel Four during 1993 and lasted for one season of nineteen episodes. Eeerie Indiana follows the adventures of Marshall Teller, a kid from New Jersey who moves to a small, seemingly idyllic town called Eerie. Marshall soon discovers that Eerie’s claim of being the most normal town in America is a lie and each episode he encounters, or is forced to deal with, something very strange. It’s basically a kids’ version of The Twilight Zone/Outer Limits that focuses on childhood neuroses and fears. Scared of dogs? There’s an episode where Marshall gains the power to read dogs’ minds and discovers they’re trying to take over the world. Scared of the optician? Marshall’s optician uses mind control on unruly children. What happens if you ignore Daylight Savings Time and don’t set your watch back an hour? You get lost in a spare hour, trapped in time!
Just watch the video and try to spot all the little details in the opening sequence. It’s a fantastically well-crafted title sequence and an efficient introduction to the show.
Unfortunately for Marshall, no-one ever believes his wild tales about Eerie. He has a best friend and sidekick called Simon and they maintain a collection of weird souvenirs from their odd encounters – the only evidence that Eerie is not the wholesome place it appears to be. Simon has a surprisingly dark family background that is implied but never detailed, the only hints being that his parents argue a lot and that he is often left unsupervised. Fortunately for Simon, Marshall’s family spend a lot of time caring for him.
Joe Dante was a creative consultant on the show and directed a few episodes, which gives the show that familiar Joe Dante look and feel. Eerie Indiana has that familiar, almost friendly, small town B-movie horror look that Joe Dante does so well (Gremlins, The ‘Burbs, Small Soldiers). Almost every episode looks great and the sets and backgrounds are filled with little details and jokes that can be picked up on repeated viewings.
Eerie Indiana even has a continuity of sorts with characters being introduced and changing over the course of the series. One of the seemingly unimportant background characters is revealed to be an impostor in one episode and is subsequently recast for the rest of the series. Hints at a larger mystery are dropped when the character of strange, homeless, kid Dash X is introduced. This is a show that rewards viewers who pay attention but doesn’t push a narrative arc at the expense of accessibility.
Alas, Eerie Indiana only lasted for one season of nineteen episodes. It’s a shame because Eerie was a show that was clearly made by a creative team that loved the genre and delighted in introducing crazy concepts and ideas to children without talking down to them. Fortunately the entire series is available to buy on Region 2 DVD.
Don’t Blame The Middleman – A One Season Wonder
The Middleman was a short-lived TV show broadcast in 2008 on ABC Family, and as I’m at the cutting edge of pop culture I’ve just got around to watching it three years after it was cancelled. The Middleman ran for twelve episodes and was the very definition of ‘cult’ viewing (it was commissioned for thirteen episodes but was rather cruelly denied production of the finale due to falling audience figures). Here’s why I think you should track down this One Season Wonder and give it a try.
Natalie Morales plays Wendy Watson, a young, snarky twenty-something, slacker artist who bounces from temp job to temp job until she encounters Matt Keeslar’s Middleman – a mysterious, well-mannered, oddly dressed, lantern-jawed, clean living, agent of justice. Wendy is soon recruited as the Middleman’s assistant in his fight against evil and enters a world of pulp fiction villainy and peril. This is the evil of comic books and B-movies – from mad scientists, aliens, zombies, vampire puppets, to Mexican wrestlers, each episode contains a unique and unusual threat.
The Middleman wears its inspiration proudly, there are dozens of pop culture references in each episode and even the obligatory trapped-in-a-building story is filled with Die Hard quotes and parodies. The crime fighting duo often uses fake IDs and the names used are always names of famous actors or characters from stories that the episode is parodying. It’s basically a show that shouts, “Yes, we love all the same movies and comics as you do, isn’t it awesome?!”
There’s a certain delight in spotting the references in each show but it can get overwhelming at times, especially if you don’t know what the characters are talking about. I can imagine that the average audience member without advanced geek pop culture knowledge would find the constant knowing winks aggravating – a bit like being stuck in a conversation with a group of friends all sharing inside jokes that you’re not privy to.
The performances in The Middleman are much exaggerated; I’d say this show is the closest there’s been to a modern-day successor to Adam West’s Batman series. It’s clear that the main cast and guest actors had a lot of fun with scripts and storylines that encouraged everyone involved to go completely over the top. The episodes are filled with one liners and recurring quotes such as the Middleman’s collection of family friendly curses and the supervillains’ frequent use of the phrase, “My plan is sheer elegance in its simplicity.”
One of the main problems with the show is that the performances have to be over the top to disguise the one note nature of the characters. This is not The Wire; the characters do not have multiple personality traits and motives. Sometimes the characters do come across as quite ‘false’ or being an ideal of what a certain person would be like. Wendy’s supporting cast of friends, for example, are a collection of oddballs and quirky people who could only exist in a TV show. The dialogue they spout is generally not something a real person would ever utter. That said, the characters and dialogue all fit within the larger than life Middleman world.
The Middleman is a light-hearted comedy journey through the mysteries of the universe and it’s a pity that it didn’t receive a second season. That said, I can see exactly why the show would fail with a mainstream network like ABC, it was too geeky for its own good. If you’d like to give this unique show a try, the entire series is available on Amazon as a Region 1 DVD.
Unfortunately the series ends without resolving a couple of dangling plot threads but luckily the show’s creator, Javier Grillo-Marxuach wrote a one-off comic book of the series finale, which neatly ties everything up. The comic is also available from Amazon.
The Thumbcast
Iain Hepburn
Cara
alisoneales
Aaron Smithies
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