A glimpse of Tomorrow
So, among all the talk today of ITV shows being rebooted today, here’s a little oddity for you.
Confession time. I’m a big fan of the Tomorrow People. No, not the 70s original, but the barking 90s CITV remake with him off Neighbours. To the point where I had to bite my lip and stifle a shout of ‘bloody hell, it’s Megabyte!’ when Christian Tessier turned up as Duck in Battlestar Galactica – looking exactly like he did a decade beforehand.
The 90s remake of The Tomorrow People is suprisingly great. Once it gets over its slightly wobbly first series – the Origin Story – and settles down with the cast of Tessier, Kristian Schmid and Naomie Harris (yes, the one that’s the new Bond girl) it turns into a decent slice of kids sci-fi.
With it’s big name celeb guest stars (hello to Christopher Lee), cliffhanger thrills and alien weirdness, it’s like the Sarah Jane Adventures 15 years too early.
The full series has been kicking about on DVD for a while, but missing from that release is the pilot episode shot by Roger Damon Price to convince networks it was a goer. A truncated version of the Origin Story, it features Stephen Pollard as British audience identification figure Kevin. He’d be replaced by a supposedly better actor come the series proper, though it’s a coin toss as to whether Adam Pearce was any better.
Anyway, look what’s turned up on YouTube. I’d never actually seen this until now, and it’s a fascinating little curio. Bit of a warning though – the sound’s somewhat out of sync, and the music is excessively early 90s…
Bernard Quatermass’ Wonders of the Universe
Nigel Kneale’s iconic 50/60s/70s scientist has been given a fresh lick of paint before, of course, when BBC Four aired a live adaptation of The Quatermass Experiment starring Jason Flemyng, David Tennant and Mark Gatiss – one which was entertaining but somewhat overshadowed by the Pope dying at the same time.
Now Hammer are eyeing a TV return for the character, after their own film adaptations of the first three TV stories back in the day, with president Simon Oakes telling This is Fake DIY:
“We are looking at rebooting Quatermass at the moment. It’s very early stages – we have a fantastic writer, but sadly we can’t announce it yet, as we’re still in the negotiation stage.”
“I’m actually interested in Quatermass for television at the moment. It’s about rebooting his character, with certain characteristics that remain the DNA of Quatermass… What we’re saying is, what would Bernard Quatermass be today?”
What would Quatermass be today? Unemployed, probably, thanks to cutbacks in space race funding.
But assuming he’s not, what’s the betting he’s a young, sexy, northern scientist type whose background is more likely to have been a pop group than the British Rocket Group….
You can just see it, can’t you? Hip fashionable young space scientist saves the world in a show which mixes Professor Brian Cox with Doctor Who? Certainly seems more likely he’ll be based on Cox than Dr Sideburns Pillinger at any rate…
Fear of Phanny
There was a collective shrug of apathy when it was announced that The Phantom Menace, and not A New Hope, would be the first of the Star Wars saga to make the transition to the new circular polarized 3D cash cow…sorry, format.
It’s not like The Phantom Menace has a lot going for it anyway – being a film largely punctuated by the feeling of most involved shrugging and asking ‘will that do?’ Even the most ardent Star Wars fans find it a struggle to be positive about Episode I.
So the lure of upconverting it to a RealD 3D print was that it might make a previously unlikeable film at least watchable, adding an extra dimension of excitement to the dizzying podrace sequence or the climactic battles. Surely turning it into a 3D film would help rescue this flattest of Star Wars films?
Well, it doesn’t. In fact, quite the opposite.
Let’s put aside the problems of The Phantom Menace as a film and focus on the technology shall we? Someone needs to, because whoever it was responsible for the upconversion seriously dropped a bollock.
In order to achieve the upconverted 3D effect, it feels like they’ve decided to consciously blur the backgrounds to put more focus on the front of the frame. Thus the lush Naboo landscapes which serve as a backdrop to the Gungan v Robot battle in the final third of the film are replaced by a green and blue smear.
Worse, there’s some scenes where the upconversion seems to expose the compositing on screen. Jar Jar’s first appearance in the forest, as Qui Gon careers into him, looks significantly more artificial and unreal than in the blu-ray version.
Scenes which should, by their very nature, feel 3D – lasers firing out of the screen, objects in the foreground – fail to have the desired effect. The bits you’d hope would benefit from the upconversion, such as podrace or THAT lightsaber battle, just look slightly blurry and unsurprisingly darker than the original print.
This isn’t Real3D, it’s like a Real Player window from 1998. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in streaming smudgovision.
To be brutally blunt, this is a complete disaster – possibly the worst upconversion of a film I’ve seen since the unbearably bad Clash of the Titans. And without that added bonus of the 3D effect, what do you have?
The blu-ray edition of The Phantom Menace with the brightness turned down a bit.
So that means you get the CGI Yoda digitally superimposed into the film in place of Frank Oz’s puppet work from the original. Still, at least he’s not been grafted in with a Vodafone clutched in one of his paws, so that’s one small mercy.
There’s little point doing another review of Phantom Menace – what more is there to say about it? A badly executed, badly written film full of odd acting choices, dodgy accents (Ralph Brown, take a bow son) and lazy storytelling, the only redeeming features are a couple of impressive action sequences and Liam Neeson, who brings a remarkable amount of dignity to the role of Qui Gon.
So is there any point in seeing Phantom Menace 3D? Well, that depends on wether or not you want to see it on the big screen – because essentially, that’s what you’re getting here. As a 3D film it’s absolutely a failure. As another chance to see a Star Wars film – any Star Wars film – in the medium it should be scene? Hmmm, that one’s over to you…
The most sensational inspirational celebrational…
It’s easy to say the Muppets are of their time. But what time is that? The 70s TV show that managed to entertain and subvert at the same time? The 80s big screen outings? The 90s revival of Muppets Tonight and Christmas Carol? It all largely depends on what age you are.
The one sure thing among that, though, is the iconic Muppet Show. There’s not many TV programmes that can combine vaudeville, felt and Chris Langham and still have a place in the collective hearts of so many people.
The new film, written by and starring Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Jason Segel, manages to successfully straddle the line between ages, recalling the glory of those early Muppet stories and the capers of the cinema stories, while still bringing a new slant on the idea of the characters.
This isn’t a kids film, despite the U certificate. There’s enough slapstick and silliness in it to keep all but the most junior of cinema goers entertained, certainly, but the film is aimed squarely at the 20 and 30 something parents who grew up with the Muppets on the small and big screen.
And it’s a film about relationships. Gary and Mary have been going out for 10 years, but he can’t ask her to marry him because he still lives with, and is tied to, his brother Walter. Kermit and Piggy’s relationship broke up because the Frog was afraid to commit to her. The Muppets themselves have failed to find happiness separately because they need to exist as a collective – a family – in order to work.
They are the epitome of the line in Spaced about the family of the 21st century being made up of friends, not relatives. Saving the Muppet Theatre, under threat from an evil businessman, is merely a McGuffin to bring them all together – not just in terms of plot, but also for the characters themselves.
There’s also another layer beneath this, though – the lure of nostalgia and fandom.
We live in a time when formats and franchises are brought back on seemingly a whim to fill a hole in the cinema or TV schedules – some famous, some more obscure (anyone remember the Mod Squad remake). In many cases these are driven by the cynical needs of television or film executives, but sometimes – Doctor Who being a good example – the power of nostalgia and the constant awareness of the brand as a pop culture icon means those responsible for an aged format’s return are fans of the original.
And thus such a restoration is played out within The Muppets itself – the return of the original gang as a film in its own right is matched in very knowing terms within the script, wherein the plot is driven by Walter’s own love of the Muppets and his almost obsessive desire to celebrate and restore them to their rightful place in pop culture – restoring the dilapidated and aged Muppet Theatre to its former glory.
In this respect then Segel, himself an avid fan of the Muppets with a tendency to bring a healthy dose of autobiography to his scripts, is basically the real-world Walter.
Right, Kermode wank hat back on the peg. What about the movie itself?
The Muppets is a wonderful film. Funny, charming, clever on about a dozen other levels, and performed with a real sense of people-giving-a-toss. There’s nothing cynical about bringing back the Muppets – either in the context of the film, or in the wider world. They’ve always been a brilliantly realised creation, even in their weakest big screen outings, and Segel does justice to them in a story that gives the key characters their moment while making sure the rest of the gang aren’t just a wash of felt in the background.
The playful sense of meta surrounding the film never overstays its welcome, with characters acknowledging they’re in a movie – Rowlf even expressing his unhappiness at being left out of a montage sequence – without it ever becoming intrusive. There’s no nods and winks to the cameras, just an appreciation that this is a world where the lead characters are made of felt and everyone’s prone to burst into song and dance – or in Chris Cooper’s case, a fantastic rap number supported by dancing girls.
The music, by the way, is up there with the best Muppets productions. They were overseen by Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords, and there’s certainly a slightly Conchords feel about their orchestration and the writing. That’s not a criticism by any stretch of the imagination – quite the opposite, in fact, and the Oscar nominated Muppet or a Man is outstanding, secret cameo and all.
I read a review of the Muppets which complained there weren’t enough big name celebrities in it. Given that the producers felt they could afford to cut cameos from the likes of Ricky Gervais (barely visible in a song and dance number) and Ben Stiller, I’d suggest the reviewer was watching with their eyes shut. It’s not that the cameos aren’t there – they are – but they’re a generational thing. As such the likes of Mickey Rooney can share a reel with Donald Glover and Ken Jeong from Community without it being an issue.
The Muppets was never really about using celebrities anyway, it was about using celebrities CORRECTLY. It’s entirely in keeping with the meta nature of the film that you don’t want them mugging to camera or making a big deal of Sarah Silverman popping up for one line.
It’s hard to fault the Muppets, to be honest. There’s the odd bit that doesn’t quite work, a couple of the voices aren’t quite right at times, and Amy Adams doesn’t nearly have enough to do even despite getting two songs to herself. But then along comes a barbers shop quartet performing Smells Like Teen Spirit, or a nailed-on recreation of the original Muppet Show opening sequence, or Animal… well, being Animal, really. And then you forget where you are and revert to being a seven year old with a big daft grin on your face.
And 80s Robot deserves his own spin-off. Seriously. You’ll know what I mean when you see it.
Oh, one final thing. When you go to see it – and let’s face it, you will be going to see it – make sure you get there in time for the Toy Story short beforehand. A brilliantly funny little story about a cheeky Drive Thru toy version of Buzz usurping the original, who ends up in a therapy group for abandoned burger restaurant toys.
Segal and co apparently turned to Pixar for some writing polish on the Muppets script, and given how closely both films cover the same themes and ground, it seems only fitting that Toy Story provide the hors d’oeuvres to the main Muppet course.